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User blog:Yumoz/Trials of the World, Chapter 1 First Attempt
Hm... I hope that this works. I've never done a blog before. So, I'm gonna use it as a place to write my first attempt at my first chapter for my stories. Fantasy's comment made me really think about how I did the chapter. For a first chapter, it's not up to par with how it's supposed to be. He was right, I did rush through it. And, I feel bad for rushing through one of my stories. I'm not gonna make any more Chapters till I fix this mess of a first Chapter. So, I'll just post the first attempt here while I work on the second(and hopefully) last attempt on the chapter: Chapter 1 PLAY Opening #2, Innocence Setting: Xei, an island in the West Blue. It is mostly a merchant island where traders come to exchange items among each other. Pirates and Marines hardly come by to this island, making it a suitable trading ground for visitors and inhabitants alike. At the very end of the island, there lies a tall hill with two colossal trees. These trees face opposite from the sun, so the trees do not cast a shadow on any of the towns on the island. One small town in particular holds one of our heroes, Kyoto. The town of Ilas is where we shall begin our story. STOP Opening #2, Innocence PLAY Xei Island Music, Dragon Roost Island ~Xei, Ilas, Market District~ Merchant #1: "Come back here with my apples!" Merchant #2: "Come back here with my squid!" Merchant #3: "Come back here with my wife!" The other two merchants stop running and look at the third merchant with disgust and confusion. The third merchant stops with a disgusted face, realizing what he just said. He looks at the merchants with the same expression. Merchant #3: "I meant my coconuts...!" The three merchants returned to chasing the thief through the market district and eventually met a crowd of people. They searched through the crowd, but they couldn't find the thief anymore. They gave up and returned to their stands. Behind a wall, the thief looks around to see if the merchants are still around. Seeing no eminent danger, he relaxes. He sits on the floor and looks through the food, deciding to eat a single product. Character Profile: Xei Villager, Kyoto Kyoto: munching an apple and then swallowing "Ah. Hits the spot. Stolen food is always the best. Let's see what I got today... A squid and a coconut. Not the greatest things in the world, but, I suppose it's better than nothing." ~Xei, Ilas, Housing District Outskirts~ Kyoto lives in the outskirts of the Housing District. After years of receiving no income from his parents, the house has become rather unkempt, dirty and is falling at the seams. Kyoto has been taking care of two children here. Kyoto: knocks on the door, then opens it "I'm home. I've brought you two a squid and a coconut. I know it's not much, but it's something." The two children come racing from their bedrooms and greet Kyoto with a smile. The oldest is 10, while the youngest is 4. They speak very little because of their shyness. Kyoto, who has been living with them for about 3 years hasn't been able to get them to say much. However, he has been teaching the oldest how to steal from the market. Kyoto: hands over the squid and coconut "I know it's not too healthy. I only grabbed enough to give you guys enough strength. Today's the day I'm leaving Xei and beginning my journey. I'm sorry that I couldn't stay here the entire time to see you grow up. I started taking care of you two 3 years ago. I've taught you how to live. I am giving you this house. After all *yawn* I believe you two will live till you die of old age," Kyoto smiles at the children. He gives them a hug and then heads out the door again, but he feels a tugging on his robe, and looks to see the eldest child looking at Kyoto with sad eyes. Character Profile: Xei Villager, Aaron, Age 10 Aaron: "M-mister Kyoto, will you come back to visit us?" Character Profile: Xei Villager, Tiffany, Age 4 Tiffany: "Yes, pwease mister." Kyoto looks at the kids with a saddened expression at first, but then smiles a sincere smile. He puts a hand on each of the children's heads. Kyoto: nods "Of course. I'll visit you guys again. Don't worry. I'll make sure to bring a lot of food and people so we could all have a meal. Does that sound good?" Aayon & Tiffany: "Yeah!" Kyoto waves good-bye to the children and closes the door behind him. As he keeps progressing on his walk, he looks back at the house. He begins second-guessing his decision of leaving Xei and staying with the children a few more years. He shakes his head and dismisses the thoughts, believing the children are more than capable of taking care of themselves. He promised them he'd come back with food and people, and that is exactly what he was going to do. Kyoto: "Mom. Dad. I'll reunite with you guys soon, just wait for me." ~Xei, Ilas, Market District~ The Market District, loud and bustling as always, was a perfect place to stock up on items one would need before heading out to sea. However, of course, Kyoto had no money since he stopped receiving money from his parents long ago. That's why he's taken the path of thievery. Kyoto: yawns "I need a nap. Now... What was it that I needed to avoid...?" Merchant #1: "Hey! It's you again! Are you going to pay for what you stole from me?" Merchant #2 & #3: "And me!" Kyoto: sweat "Well... You see..." PAUSE Dragon Roost, PLAY Distant Trace ???: "Excuse me. Is it alright if I could pay for him?" Kyoto and the merchants look at the person who just spoke. It was a girl that looked to be about in her teenage years. She had long black hair and it was braided at the top of her head in what seemed like an incomplete heart. She had a very delicate voice when speaking that made the three merchants relax upon hearing it. ???: "O-oh... I'm sorry for interrupting..." Merchant #1: "No, no. It's not a problem at all young lady. Sure, we'll accept your pay, right fellas?" Merchant 2 & 3: nods vigorously "Of course! Anything for a young lady such as yourself!" ???: she pays the Merchants the amount of money needed and the merchants leave with gleeful faces "Please forgive me. I didn't wish to intrude. You seemed to be having difficulties, so I wanted to help you." Kyoto: "Hm? No, no. It's alright, heh. I greatly appreciate your kindness. I'm Kyoto, what's your name?" Character Profile: Mysterious Woman Mysterious Woman: "W-well... It's nice to meet you, Kyoto. B-but... It's probably best if you don't know who I am. I am not someone people would like to be around. Please forgive me," she bows. Kyoto: he scratches his head "Err... It's alright. No worries *yawn*. I'm leaving this place anyhow, so I should get going." Mysterious Woman: "Oh? I didn't see another ship docked here. Are you from here?" Kyoto: "Yeah. However, I have no money to pay for a boat or anything. I'll just go steal a boat or something *yawn*." Mysterious Woman: "W-wait! I'll give you money. Just please. Don't steal." Kyoto: "You really don't have to. It's alright." Mysterious Woman: "Please, I insist." Kyoto: "No, it-" STOP Distant Trace, PLAY Akatsuki Theme Mysterious Woman: "I said I insist. Don't defy me." Kyoto: unnerved in the world... She just changed her demeanor in an instant... She's no longer the same person... he takes the money "T-thanks." STOP Akatsuki Theme, RESUME Dragon Roost Island Mysterious Woman: "Oh. Y-you're very welcome. I wish you the best of luck on your journey," she bows and then disappears in the crowd. Kyoto: was that... I've never seen someone with such a personality... Citizen: bumps into Kyoto "Ey! Move outta the way! Stop blocking the passage!" Kyoto: "*yawn*... Right. Sorry," he walks off and goes to the docks. ~Xei, Ilas, Docks~ A man is messing around with some boats. Too entranced by his own work, he fails to hear Kyoto's footsteps, and upon Kyoto's single tap of the shoulder... Boat Seller: jumps "WOAH THERE! Oh... It's just you. What do you want, Kyoto? Are you planning on stealing one of my boats? I won't allow it!" he readies his arms in the air, taking a few air punches and moving around like a boxer, albeit horribly. Kyoto: sweats "No, no. I didn't come here to do that... I actually have some money this time, see?" Kyoto shows the Boat Seller his money. Boat Seller: takes the money "Let's see... Only 1,000 Beli. That's enough to get you a small boat. It'll be able to fit at least three people if you're lucky. Go ahead and take it, it's yours!" Kyoto: don't recall buying it... "Alright. Thanks old man." Boat Seller: "I ain't old!" Kyoto: "*yawn* Whatever you say. Oh?" Kyoto notices the ship next to the docks. It's a large ship that is has a yellow flag and the ship itself is colored a light yellow color. "Doesn't look like anyone's on i-" Kyoto notices a figure wearing a black kimono facing the other way, but then the figure turns around and has its face facing Kyoto. Kyoto: sweating in the world... It's so pale... And... It doesn't have a face either... What is that? Boat Seller: "HEY! I told you to GET OUTTA HERE!" Kyoto: "R-right," Kyoto gets on the boat and begins sailing off. ~West Blue, Waters~ Kyoto has made it to a point that he couldn't see Xei anymore. He decides to lay against the back of the boat and take a nap, but, before he could do that, he opens his eyes quickly and jumps up. Kyoto: "I forgot to get food!" In defeat, Kyoto lays down again, not sparing the energy to even try to return to Xei. He just let the currents carry him, hoping he'd get to an island with some food soon. ~Xei, Ilas, Market District~ STOP Dragon Roost, PLAY Akatsuki Theme A Den Den Mushi is ringing, and is answered. Mysterious Woman: "Yes. It's as you said," she flicks her hair to the right "This island is no longer needed in this world. Bring out the Animeshon." STOP Akatsuki Theme, PLAY Ending #2 Personal Category:Blog posts